I’ve been thinking about memory and attachment. About vision and its utility. I used to live entirely for my visions. They defined my identity, my conversations, and my relationships. I now feel I was often more in relation to my visions that involved others than I was to the people themselves. As I’ve worked to pursue a more present life that is grounded in daily practice, I’m working to relocate the value of vision.
Instead of the vision being the focus, I work to work back from a vision to identify the practices that underly it. Specificity is still important, to see myself clearly in a future place. What am I doing, how am I feeling, what are the elements of my life? The specificity is a tool to identify the practices that create it. The goal is not to acquire that vision directly. The practice is a tool to bring myself back to today and the habits I create that turn the way of life I envision into a reality that I can actually live in the present.
The actual life that develops from the daily practice is out of my control, but I believe that if I show up intentionally to the practices I identify, I’ll end up with a life that far exceeds my ability to envision it.