I'm back from a week upstate. I knew I needed it, although definitely not how much. I had planned on working a little and posting while up there. The first day I went walking in the forest; I wanted to leave and come back to the city. I had that terrible pit in my stomach, the pit that says the thing I'm uncomfortable with is the thing I need the most. By the end of my walk I'd canceled all my pretensions of working, posting, or doing anything other than reconnecting to myself and the world around me.
I got back Friday and I've been contemplating whether I want to return to this daily writing practice. Not because I don't love it. I do. There are many days that I resent it, that I don't know what to write, that it feels contrived, or that I spend half my day thinking about what I want to write when I think there are more important things that I might do. Ultimately it's a choice - to look at my life and the world through a particular lens on a daily basis.
Sometimes it may filter my experiences. It's true that I may spend less time writing longer format works, although I have many in the back of my head.
All lens only show what's in frame, but it only takes one look at the contrast of black and white to understand that there is something magical about distorted perspective.
I choose this lens. To listen to myself. And to write.