I didn’t make music last night, but I did rest and give myself some much needed gender affirming self care today.
Am I breaking my commitment to making music? It depends which commitments are most important. I’ve been saying all week in different ways that if you keep telling yourself that something isn’t a big thing and you should have already done it, or be doing it more consistently, and you aren’t, then maybe it’s actually a bigger thing.
I always struggle with these posts Saturday night. It feels like a rush and a big pressure after coming back online after tech shabbat to write something. I feel guilt if I haven’t produced something creative to share. But I’m struck by how much I love the daily practice now. My partner asked how I’d feel about skipping a day. I recoiled a bit. If the practice is optional, I know one day quickly becomes two. I’ve seen this happen with other practices in my life. Currently I try to do these by midday, and if I slip a bit, I do it at night.
Ultimately we always slip. But we set the size of the container that things slip over. If I try to do my daily in the morning, sometimes I’ll do it by the evening. If I just try to do a post everyday, sometimes I’ll skip a day. If I try to do one sometime, I may sometimes stop entirely.